I told Twitter that I binge ate 15 cookies today, and they totally didn't judge me. Which is crazy because I judged me, so why not them? I've found myself sneaking around as of late, hoarding cookies and other sugar-based goods like it's communist Russia and I'm on food rations. I've never experienced cravings for… Continue reading Dear Diet: I’m Over You.
As some of you may know, I'm getting married in September. To answer your questions, wedding planning is not really happening at all and no, I'm not nervous. The hubs and I are having a super simple, camping wedding. No catered dinner, painful speeches or horrible Powerpoint presentations where transitions straight out of the 90's… Continue reading Weddings Confuse Me
My teenage angst will never die. I'm sure of it. I can't wait to have miniature version of myself so I can download all my complexes, joys and irritations on this small being that bears a copy of my DNA. With some alterations to it of course. That's why you have kids right? To properly… Continue reading Wake up. Please.
Dear body; It's been a whole 26 years with you and my how the time flies. Your frontal cerebral cortex is fully developed, your feet exhibit the hardened callous of a fearless festival-er and earth walker, and your hands are starting to show the wrinkles of hard use - grasping, painting, washing, and embracing. Fear not, dear… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Body
I was raised liberal. In a sea of extended family members that touted conservatism and gun ownership, my mother and I remained the black sheep of our family - an anomaly. For most of my life I had some pretty standard liberal views, obviously climate change is a thing, pro-choice, pro-affirmative action, anti-dogmatic religion, pro-renewable… Continue reading Just Because You’re a Liberal Doesn’t Mean You’re Tolerant
I live in Southern Alberta y'all (picture below for those who failed geography), which might confuse you since I say y'all constantly. Maybe my heart is in Texas, who knows. Here in Alberta we can have some pretty harsh winters - and every year is the same. Apparently, (according to CBC) the winters here in… Continue reading Winter Amnesia
Avert your eyes guys - I'm gonna talk about menstruation. What may seem like a scary thing to most men, is a monthly inconvenience that all of woman kind has to begrudgingly deal with. While I'd like to think that I could cultivate some kind of spiritual connection in that I'm shedding the future home… Continue reading In Defense of The Cup
People of WordPress, it's been a little over a month since I started the diet that I was sure would kill me, slowly, from the inside out. What would I do without sugar I thought? What would I do without BREAD? Fuck I love bread. I'm here to give you an update. And the update… Continue reading Overwhelmingly, Annoyingly Happy
I have several hobbies. While I like to wax poetic and tell myself that I have so many hobbies because they're all various mediums for telling stories. However, some percentage of my psyche knows that if I have more hobbies, the percentage of one vaulting me into unmitigated success goes up. So, next time you… Continue reading Hold on to Your Tits Oprah, I’m Comin’ For Ya!
By all accounts, I'm a pretty awkward person. That is until we break that metaphorical barrier when we go out together and I have one to many Alabama Slammers and lose all sense of personal space and volume control. But, under normal circumstances, I'm pretty strange. I like to fill the silence with awkward conversation… Continue reading On Being a Patient