I told Twitter that I binge ate 15 cookies today, and they totally didn't judge me. Which is crazy because I judged me, so why not them? I've found myself sneaking around as of late, hoarding cookies and other sugar-based goods like it's communist Russia and I'm on food rations. I've never experienced cravings for… Continue reading Dear Diet: I’m Over You.
Dear body; It's been a whole 26 years with you and my how the time flies. Your frontal cerebral cortex is fully developed, your feet exhibit the hardened callous of a fearless festival-er and earth walker, and your hands are starting to show the wrinkles of hard use - grasping, painting, washing, and embracing. Fear not, dear… Continue reading A Love Letter to My Body
People of WordPress, it's been a little over a month since I started the diet that I was sure would kill me, slowly, from the inside out. What would I do without sugar I thought? What would I do without BREAD? Fuck I love bread. I'm here to give you an update. And the update… Continue reading Overwhelmingly, Annoyingly Happy
By all accounts, I'm a pretty awkward person. That is until we break that metaphorical barrier when we go out together and I have one to many Alabama Slammers and lose all sense of personal space and volume control. But, under normal circumstances, I'm pretty strange. I like to fill the silence with awkward conversation… Continue reading On Being a Patient
At a certain age, you start to feel mildly guilty about treating your body like a human trash can because all your douche-y friends are buying juicers and gym memberships. These people move upwards and onwards, getting married or being productive members of society; they astutely realize earlier than most, that white people* don't age well… Continue reading Your Body is Not a Garbage Can
As a woman, I find I come up against certain struggles that are unique to my gender. And before you get ALL hasty because I know that's what you do, this doesn't mean I'm disregarding the struggles of others, or downplaying them in any capacity. (I do know that men have struggles unique to themselves,… Continue reading Hear Me Roar, Bitch.
I think the one talent I'll ever have in life is being disturbingly under talented. When God was handing out talents on the 8th day, I was doing tequila shots with Gabriel and Rafael. For years I stressed about never having a thing, but I can honestly say that my thing is, not having a… Continue reading Things I Will Never Be Good At
Stock photos give me life. Look at these fucking assholes. See that chick on the far right? You know she be thinkin' about the D. I love them. So much so, I'll spend entirely too much time surfing google images to find painfully bad ones that are available for PURCHASE and on super-serious websites. Usually, the… Continue reading Stock Photos: You’re Doing It Wrong
As a child, I was super inactive. It's mostly because my mom would sign me up for some kind of activity, and when I wasn't immediately it's master, and it my bitch, I would quit. In a dramatic blaze of glory too, I'll have you know. This happened with everything I tried. Every single kind… Continue reading On Exercise: Briefly
WELCOME to the inauguration of Worst People Wednesday. A day where I can lament about all the people who I despise and who are probably adult-ing better than me. Introducing: #FITSPO The entire culture of fitness offends me. If you want to get in shape, without throwing it in my face, I'm into that. Eat… Continue reading Worst People Wednesday: The Inauguration