When you’re cranky you don’t really want to write about anything ’cause you’re waist deep in your doom and gloom attitude and everything that comes out of your fingertips seems to be inane drivel about nothing important. Or heavy, big topics that seem too overwhelming to broach. How am I supposed to tackle why Trump is president in one blog post? Or systemic racism? Or the failings of the educational system? I mean, I’m ONLY ONE PERSON HERE. So I’ve just been cranky, and bathing in my own bullshit state of mind because you know when you’re in one of those moods, you sometimes try to enhance it or make it worse by being overly dramatic about small things that don’t really matter (enter: cold coffee) or watching angry movies like The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo so that you can totally level with the sheer cynicism and raw energy of Lisbeth Salander. (How great is that character by the way? Probably not someone you can take to a yoga class, but whatever you have other friends for that.) She’s my spirit animal. In a completely non-ironic way. #loveyoulisbeth
Sometimes if I’m not careful my crank mood can totally spiral out of control into a sneaky hate spiral, where I end up walking around like a ticking time bomb and then some asshole has the audacity to bump into my shoulder while I’m trying to pass them and I lose my ever-loving mind at this innocent person who was just trying to walk to the store and get a 6 pack, ’cause he has his own issues too y’know? Side note: I never actually yell, ’cause I’m hilariously passive in real life for being such a dick bag online. But I want to. And I imagine reducing this other person to a puddle of tears because THEY MUST FEEL IRRITATED LIKE I FEEL.
If you follow my shit you might have seen the comic I posted the other day about how I only have two speeds – it seems to be the same for my moods as well. It’s either A) a state of sheer wonderment at how giving and profound the universe is, how innately good humans are and how AMAZING LIFE CAN BE IN ALL OF ITS COLOURS AND JOY AND BEAUTY. Or B) a profound distaste for every human ever. Often including my own mother. (Sorry mom) A deep, painful anger about the state of the world and a very high level of confusion at how SO MANY PEOPLE walk around completely unaware of how their actions affect other people. Like did you know when you cancel an appointment two hours before you’re supposed to be there you’re profoundly fucking up my life? Be a better person.
You can probably guess which state of mind I’m currently residing in. This is the state of mind where fluffy quips about the universe and love are indigestible and make it worse. So, just join me in the resistance to joy or leave me. I don’t need your recommendation of how I should enlighten my way out of my bad mood. It’s here for a while and then it’ll be gone. And then I’ll write something about how beautiful life is. TILL THEN. I’M CRANKY AND I LIKE IT.
Also where the fuck can I watch The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo ONLINE? SEND HELP. And donuts, and maybe some Valium, or vodka. Or a therapist. DO SOMETHING.
Ps. Send me suggestions for future blog posts. I’m hibernating so nothing exciting is really happening right now. Or send me ideas for comics – I’LL DRAW YOU A PICTURE K?