The amount of shit I get for wearing leggings and no other style of pant. Let me set the record straight: I will wear leggings if I damn well please and you sir, can go fuck your hat. Yes I’m perfectly okay with the fact that my thighs rub together and I have to replace my leggings semi-regularily because legging producers aren’t quite up to speed for that kind of friction. Yes, I’m fine with wearing a legging whose waistband slices through my belly fat like twine in an overcooked loaf of bread – the pattern is cute and goes great with this sweater I own. Judgement from other people is always a reflection of how they feel about themselves, and not you. So bust out those leggings, that dress that emphasizes your belly or rock a hairstyle that’s “too long” for your age. You can tell Chip Wilson (That douche canoe from Lululemon that said some women aren’t made for their pants) and the rest of society to eat it. Practice self love, and one you’ve mastered that you can practice that love on other people.
Self love? I know what you’re thinking. Do I need to adorn all my window ledges with crystals, acquire some incense and start speaking to people with half-closed, woke-as-fuck-eyelids? Don’t worry, you can open those eyes and continue showering. The notion of self love ins’t rooted in some LSD induced hippie notion, it’s profound, freeing and incredibly up-lifting. There’s a couple things I want you to remember when you’re getting started on this road.
- Instagram is a vapid, shitty lie. Out of 30 takes that someone took to get that just perfect photo, maybe 1 or 2 is good. Mirrors and lighting are an illusion and so is a truly great filter. Even the most ‘ideal’ of people have physical flaws – this is what should bond you to other people.
- Even if you magically landed yourself in what you consider to be the ideal body, you’re still, well, you. You still have years of emotional baggage and family dysfunction that doesn’t just go away. The self-love journey is like 10% physical and 90% everything else. If you want to be okay with you, get to know the real you, and love that shit. Because you can only depend on you, so you better like you.
- It’s okay to have days where you’re miserable. Where you stand in front of the mirror and cry “I can’t believe someone lets you have sex with them”. Do it. Fall into the sneaky hate spiral, feel the feeling by acknowledging it for a brief period of time and then let it go.
- Other people struggle with the same problems. Remember that most of us walk around everyday with the weight of insecurities, failures and short-comings on our shoulders. Everyone has a story, and while you’re certainly not obligated to like everyone you meet, practice patience and kindness. Don’t worry I won’t judge you if you turn into the devil himself some days because people are profoundly dumb.
It’s hard, but once you’re there it’s liberating. Practice kind self-talk. Hateful and mean words get stuck in your psyche and manifest themselves in all kinds of interesting ways. You do no one any benefit when you’re all torn up with hate and angst. That includes your twin flame, your kids and your coworkers. Figure yourself out and then you can be of the ultimate service to the ones you love/mildly tolerate.
So eat that god damn cheeseburger! Wear that dress! You’re you! And you deserve to celebrate yoself, God damnit! Don’t forget that you have needs that extend beyond the gym and Instagram selfies. Do yourself a favour and own your awesome.
No one is you-er than you.